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  • Now the rain is gone...

    I sit here at my desk and dream,
    dreaming that the rain is gone...
    tke sky is full of bright light,
    Light that feels me with joy.
    I imagine myself sitting on a bench facing the sea...
    what a lovely view..
    i can see the horizon at the very far end of the sea.
    will i ever be able to go close to it?
    I know, the closer i get, the further it will go.
    Alas! some things just look too good...

    Suddenly i feel cold..
    the sky is full of dark and angry clouds,
    ready to pour down furiously..
    wet from head to toe, i still sit there...
    not ready to move, fighting the pain i am in...

    Atlast, its gone now, the rain has stopped,
    the sky is clearer than ever!..
    The wide ocean in front of me is so calm...
    As if invited me for a dive in..
    And that's what i do....
    Free myself from this pain and sadness that never leaves...

    i'm smiling.. full with happiness.. i hug the sea and breathe the water in my lungs..
    and in no time... i'm a part of it...

  • Why .... always as kgod... Why?

    Why... i always ask god....

    i am a simple girl... living with my family... i work and support my family like a good daughter. which i personally feel good about.
    I don't go out clubbing like everyone else... don't sleep around and just do everything that i and my family thinks is right. The last thing i would want is for them to be ashamed of me. I don't have any friends, yes, i don't have a single friend. i had some, but they never stick, always run away. i don't understand why. ... Everyone says i'm like sunshine, always brighten the place up, i'm happy when everyone else is.
    But have forgotten myself...really....

    so i thought i'll write this poem about my feelings... everything i wish i had... and everything else...

    Every morning i wake up i see her,
    right in front of me she stands,
    why does she feel so alone...,
    she lives with her parents and brothers,
    which means there is always company in the house,
    yet again she cries, when she's alone,
    buried in deep sadness thinking she'll never be free,
    she can't go anywhere she wants,
    trust me, everyday she is at home.
    as soon as she comes from work, she is home,
    weekends are spent cleaning and going to church,
    is that why she is sad? but no-one sees?,
    no-one... everyone thinks there she goes, the bubly baby!
    she is not what she looks, a good hider.

    i wish i could rescue her from that pain,
    even god seems to have left her to die.
    can't she have someone and be happy?
    no! she can't! only a mircale can do that to her.
    her hopes are too high, she doesn't want to look for anyone anymore,
    incase someone likes her.
    that will make her life more sick.

    i dream for her, for her to have a nice man,
    someone who has the guts! to stand by her,
    not like the others who just came around for a while,
    she doesn't like that all,

    when she sees people holding hands,
    a tiny tear rolls down her cheek,
    just in time she hides it.
    oh! why does it have to be so bad...
    its so bad now that i am afraid i am gonna kill myself.
    but that will leave my family in great deal of trouble,
    even death can't come happily to me....

    life is a ocean of sadness for me with no horizon....

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